Friday, February 15, 2008

What am I Missing Here?

The days seem to flow into each other, each passes by unremarkably. And before I know it a month has gone by and I have nothing to show for it except a constant stream of movies, books, a few classes in between, lots of sleep and a decidedly lazy attitude to life. My resolutions of studying all the books in the library, of learning something new, of visiting as many places as I could, of writing of all the things I wanted to write but never had the time, of catching up with old friends, all seem to have vanished into thin air. I have caught ‘Sixth Term’ disease.

The last term in this course that has filled my life for the past two years is one that I have been looking forward to for so long. Very few classes, lots of free time and the placement headache out of the way. This is the time that we are supposed to enjoy ourselves, do all the things we never had the time to do and yet it feels strangely unsatisfactory. To while away all our hours in doing nothing and finding newer ways of ‘passing’ the time requires energy too, something we seem to lack. Occasional weekend trips once to Calcutta, others to places nearby did relieve the monotony. But they were occasional.

I seem to have lost something. Something that helps me want to do the things I’ve always wanted but never got the time. Something that inspires in me a disdain for the monotonous. Something that makes me hate my present life and makes me look for better things. Work. Need to find it soon.

2 comments:

Priya-Prashanth said...

I am able to empathise what you are going through. Many a time we get this huge amount of time just for our taking, we plan so much but yet before you know it....it has passed.

Conviction to personal goals without any logical outcome always is difficult. But I guess perserverence is the only respite to any inertia that might have built up

Priya Baid said...

PC, it sounds so similar! :)